Taking Responsibility for your Triggers

I recently took a free online course on mind mastery by social worker Valerie Dimick and it was one of the most concise explanations of the source of human suffering I have ever come across.

It starts with the simple premise that all humans simply want happiness.

Then Valerie clearly explains the process that leads us away from happiness:

We do not create our thoughts – they are attracted to our mind
Thoughts are either positive or negative
We have agency – the ability to select the thoughts we put our attention on
The thoughts we select then create a certain feeling within us
The selected thoughts and emotions we experience then drive us to behave or act in a certain way.

If we select negative thoughts we end up with negative feelings and behaviours – or a negative downward spiral.

And vice versa, if we select positive thoughts we end up with positive feelings and behaviours – or the enlightenment path.

We have all unfortunately been conditioned to think we have to change external circumstances to be happy, but it works the other way round. All external happenings are neutral and the only way we can change happiness is by selecting new thoughts.

So if you are not happy on the pickleball court, it has nothing to do with the score, how you are playing or who you are playing with.

If you are not happy on the pickleball court you have simply selected incorrect thoughts.

There is no point focusing on trying to change the feelings or the external circumstances – these things are outside of our control.

They will just “happen” as a result of the thoughts we selected.

Thoughts are like seeds and the feelings and circumstances are the fruits. And we only see the fruit after we have fed and watered the thoughts that led to them for a long time!

Is it time for you to plant some new seeds?

Most people will answer “yes” but although it is a simple solution, it is hard to execute!

Here are some ideas to start selecting new thoughts.

TAKE TO THE COURT

Awareness of Thoughts

The first step is Awareness – you first have to recognise you selected a negative thought.

How do you know if you have chosen a negative thought? Pay attention to the fruit!

Our Feelings are a barometer – if we feel bad, then the thought we chose was negative. Feelings can be confusing but there is one feeling which trumps them all. Peace.

If you do not feel at peace then it is a negative thought.

Set an Intention

The second step is not so much to choose new thoughts, but to set the Intention to select new thoughts.

Choosing a new thought is definitely not as easy as it sounds – you may be full of negative emotions which may make all logic fly out the window. So changing the thought itself is usually not a realistic goal

You can ask a higher power or the universe for help, or use affirmations in real time like “I am selecting positive thoughts more and more in each moment.”

Mind Training

You may find this negative thinking is pervasive across your whole life, not just pickleball! So it is important to remain vigilant.

Wear an elastic band on your wrist and snap it when you recognise a negative fruit.

And to retrain your mind, create a list of affirmations and repeat these – feel these – at least once a day.

New seeds require regular watering and feeding to sprout & grow, and old weeds need to be deprived to wither & die.

“If you are not happy on the pickleball court you have simply selected incorrect thoughts.”